on letting go

I plan my life. 

I'm not one to just go with it and hope everything turns okay, I like to have a plan. 

Or so I thought. 

I have found in my life the more I plan and prepare and work towards something, the more I am turned in a completely opposite direction. This morning at 5am I thought a lot about that. 

And also why I was awake, but that's another story. 

So after much deliberation and a few moments of pinterest-ing, I've decided this will be my motto

...at least for now. 

mad

yes I copied my girl Katie.

mad

dear parents/future employer,

Please realize while looking over my grades from the fall 2011 semester that I did my best. However to be quite frank, that semester school was not my top priority. The following occurred during that semester:

1. I decided to go on a mission
2. I began paper work (Which is ridiculous, if you were wondering). 
3. I got my wisdom teeth out, thus missing some school and being dreary for about a week and a half
4. a super bad case of the lazies was caught
5. Some weeks this semester were just awful
6. I got my mission call....and lost any enthusiasm for school
7. I hit rock bottom.
8. And you know, the roommate problems of course...
9. I began dating this boy who is a total QG 
10. annnnnnnnnd a million other excuses. 

Please keep  the above list in mind when looking at the grades. They don't show how much I learned from this semester. Not in the least bit. And isn't knowledge more important than grades anyways?


mad

she dreamed of paradise

sing with me?

mad

On the Skinny

Yeah you have probably heard the latest laughable news on byu Idaho.
No?

Here's the deal: last week the quaint town of Rexburg made world wide news when the skinny jean ban was made known to people outside of our little village.

Here is my take on it and mind you I go here and just finished discussing the outrageous ban with a friend who works in the testing center:

The day the articles came out I took a test in my skinny jeans. The week before the articles I took a test as well. The difference between the two? Before the article there was a yellow sign at the computers for about three days that said something like:

"you should repent when you come to the testing center in too-tight jeans"

...ummm yeah. After the articles however, the ban, yellow signs and any evil eyes from employees were all gone. And now? Now you can go to the testing center in whatever you want. Because of the absurdness of the situation, the employees now won't stop you for anything. (unless you are wearing something really ridiculous).

As for the employee who banned some girl in her little jeans? He's been fired. As well as the guy in charge of the yellow signs.

Yes, sometimes this school is ridiculous, and yes sometimes articles blow things way out of proportion.As far as I'm concerned however, the cross-walk situation is a lot worse then the one-week ban of skinny jeans.


mad.

things you do when you have no more hope in the world...

send your teacher emails like this:

Hi Brother Allen,

This is your favorite student. I am imploring you. Nay, begging on my knees that you will somehow find it within your heart to let each student pick their essay for tomorrow's final. We have been studying as a group for quite a long time now and have found each of us has one we would prefer to get tomorrow afternoon. However, we are all very anxious and worried about some of the other essays that might be thrust upon us.

It would be more than a dream come true for you to grant our humble wish.

Thank you so much for your time,
Madison Sackley

do I sound too desperate? 

mad

.

Amen Sister Meester. 

Amen.

mad

angels

There are people that are put in your life for a reason. 

Everything has a reason and a purpose. 

I believe honest to goodness that Megan Butler was put in my life as an angel.

For reals people.

There are so many reasons this semester could have been the worst semester of my life. 

There are so many things that went wrong, things I would have liked to say, problems I couldn't fix....

But this girl?

This girl has been my rock. And I love her for it. 

mad

it's 3:30pm and I feel like giving up on homework.

 

I am thankful today for:

-The fact that it is Wednesday. And that means half the week is over already

-a super good presentation on Kuwait

-Comfy Library chairs to sleep on

-Friends you can call any time of night to talk to

-Friends that say things like "just pray" for answers. every. time. 

-Alma 32 in terms of how Man explained to me yesterday morning

-Parents who do mission paperwork for me when I don't have all the information

-70% chance of snowfall...there's no snow on the ground and I really want there to be. 

-New favorite blogs

-When people laugh at my jokes even when they're dumb

-Boys that have the Priesthood

-Glozell

-Texts from people you haven't talked to in forever.

-December starting tomorrow

-This song

-Having only one presentation, one test, four assignments and one project left on my to-do list this week.

mad

thanksgiving break was a lot of fun but

starting yesterday morning, I hit the books hard. 

6:45 am: wake up. Kind of. Turn off alarm.
7:10 am: wake up for reals. Get ready for the day.
8:00am: in Library, doing homework.
9:00-10:00am: class
10:00am-2:00pm: library
2:00-3:00pm: class
3:00-4:30: library
4:30-6:30pm: dinner/grocery shopping
6:30-11:00pm: library.

In case you were wondering, this is my schedule for the week. 

Come visit me? 

mad

pass it on

Has anyone else seen these?

While driving to California this past semester we saw many of them 

and then driving to Utah for the break I noticed them again. Aren't they fantastic? I love how inspirational they were while driving. 

mad

seminary teachers

Something about the kids at my high school scared away the seminary teachers.

We only hired one or maybe two at a time and in the four years I was in school, I had seven seminary teachers. seven. 

Unlike most other high school seminary teachers though, the only people that would ever actually take on a job like Southridge high school were newly returned missionaries. They were always almost engaged or married, but none the less, pleasing to the eyes. (One of the main factors in my attendance my senior year to zero period was the fact that my teacher was only 22.)

SO. The kiddos in high school have a new seminary teacher. 

He's 30. 

He's a newly wed. 

Tonight whilst discussing many random things over Thanksgiving comas we come to realize I know this seminary teacher. Because after all, he's a newly wed. And of course he went after my friend two summers ago while we were back in Oregon for the break. 

Poor new seminary teacher made the mistake of sloppily kissing one of my best friends on his parent's couch and then spending the rest of the summer trying to get her to go out with him again. 

Little did he know, the kids in his class have connections and will probably blackmail him for life. 

In other news, 

 HOLY COW I'M OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE FRIENDS MAKING OUT WITH TEACHERS. 

mad. 

tweet tweet

No I did not sink into getting a twitter.

I did though just spend a good 20 minutes stalking looking through my brother's. 

My favorites that I found:

6648.4 miles away #toofar

#proudbrother sister going to brazil on her misson

awwww

mad

10 things you didn't need to know..and don't want to but....

1. I have a birth mark on my right second toe that's often confused for a brown marker drawing
2. I sleep with a stuffed dog my first boyfriend gave me.
3. Sometimes I have nightmares that my teeth fall out or I'm walking to get married crying my eyes out because I really dont want to marry them.
4. Contrary to popular belief, I am not an emotional person. There are many people very close to me that have never seen me cry.
5. I don't eat fruit. I hate the texture. Blahh!!
6. I'm really good at finding people online. I might be thinking of joining the FBI because like whoa ive got the stalker thing down.
7. The dark and ending up alone are my two greatest fears. Especially when combined together.
8. Babies might be the death of me. If I could I'd steal a few for my own.
9 along with number eight, the only other real nicknames I have bet had were fertile myrtle and maddie. And only one person in the world can get away with calling me fertile Myrtle.
10. My stress spot is right in between my nose and my eyebrow. You can tell I have been stressed lately by the large-ness of the zit growing there. .....don't ask about it this time around.


Mad

deal breakers

One time I asked a boy if he wanted to go ride bikes with me. 

You know, just for fun? 

He said he'd rather play his video games.

Now I am not one to have a check off list of qualities my future husband should have, but I am one to have deal breakers. Actually, I have just one deal breaker:

He needs to love me more than those video games.

I am all for man dates or bro-time or whatever they call it where they order pizza and play the games for hours and hours all together. Knock yourselves out fellas. 

 However, if you are all  by yourself and you just feel like playing for hours and hours just because well, you like doing that with your time? 

You are not the one for me.

I hate to call boys out on this but Blackwill....those boys love their video games. 

And I'll be honest, they are very good about making sure they don't play ALL weekend long but for real? 

One time we went over to their house at 5pm and they all hadn't seen the light of day. 

Keep in mind it was a beautiful warm day (and those are hard to come by in Rexburg, Idaho.)

Now I'm not saying they are the only boys with this problem.  I think most boys have a slight addiction to the blue screens. I overheard a woman that went to the zoo with her children and brother (without her husband) because he would rather play the video games and wind down from work that way. 

My Uncle's job is to create video games. The last time I talked to him he told me that the number one cause of divorce is pornography, and the second is video games. Whether it's true or not, I'd believe it.

I guess all I'm saying is...

Dear Future Husband, 

You can play your xbox or playstation or whatev every once and a while. 

But if I wanna go ride bikes or take the kids to the zoo? 

You best be willing to go too.

mad

monday is MY day.

I woke up at 8:42am. 

I then ran to class (which is the furthest building from my apartment...good pick mad...)

And made it there, on time at 9:00am.

Some people think I need to be a little more high maintenance about my appearance in public. 

I say screw the make-up. Especially when it's an all girl class.

Then I drove to Idaho Falls with Sister Megan.

She got her braces off while I devoured three People magazines.

We then went and bought corn dogs and ice cream at Winco. I might have eaten my corn dog before we even made it to check out. nbd.

And on our way home from I.F. was when I realized I've fallen in love with the big, Southern Idaho sky. 

you know when people talk about how big the sky is? You haven't seen big till you've seen Southern Idaho sky. For real it could eat me whole.

Today is Monday, or in other words my day.

I'm going to get my passport after class. 

Then I'll probably walk on over to pinache and find something I can't live without. 

Or maybe I'll do my laundry. 

Either way, Monday you are mine.

mad

I feel like the past few weeks have been nightmare after nightmare. I just don't feel like there's enough time in my day, enough money or enough words to say to people. Everything that could possibly go wrong this past month has indeed, gone wrong. You know how some people say you hit rock bottom and then you build your way back up? Guess what they don't tell you. There's a nice little hot tub at rock bottom that I've decided to swim in for the time being. Because well, let's be honest I am not building my way back up any time soon. So instead, today I am thankful for:

1. Accidentally/on purpose sleeping through my first class

2. Tilamook Ice Cream

3. My hair channeling Hermione Granger

4. Walks down main street where it feels warm enough to no have my jacket buttoned up

5. Finishing my homework before the wee hours of the night

6. Seeing people from class and talking with them for a few minutes

7. Asiago bagels from Freshen's

8. My black van's that are probably ten years too old but I'm still wearing them

9. Snow melting on the ground

10. Being told I might get out of work early tonight. 

mad

the right amount of awkward for your Thursday

Whether or not this is appropriate for your eyes I am not sure.

However I can assure you it was one of the funniest moments of my Sunday-night-life. 

That you see is how you clean a Victoria's Secret Brassiere. 

Not only did we make a huge mess in the bathroom, it was probably the most colorful bathtub I've seen ever. 

Some girls from the ward were in the front room for a little dessert social and needless to say, we made sure they used the other restroom. 

Except we didn't catch the Relief Society President in time....

p.s. I am writing this in the library obviously and there are people all around me...who now wonder what the heck I am posting about. 

How's that for awkward Thursday's?

Mad

Dear Future...

I use to be scared of flying on planes. I'd hold my breath as we took off and jump at every little bump the plane had. 

Now that I am a college student and fly on planes about 10 times a year (no joke) I'd like to think of myself as a more experienced flier. I caught myself dozing off before we even took to the skies this last time. So as to the future? 

I'd like it to be just a smooth sailing. 

But not so boring that I doze off. 

Dear Future Place, 

Make more sense than you do right. now. 

Because momentarily, I'm having lots of doubts as to where you are.

Dear Future Job,

Come with only well behaved children with perfect backgrounds.

Studying gangs right now makes me never want to teach inner-city schools.

Dear Future Hair,

Stop splitting why don't you?

Dear Future Car, 

I'd like you to be a jeep. Maybe even a red one if we're getting crazy with the dreams.

Dear Future Husband,

I hope you wear the same love-struck face for our children

as the boy does sitting next to me over his new little one.

Dear Future Weather, 

Be a little warmer. 

Dear Future dentist appointments,

be less painful.

Dear Future Airplane rides, 

Make it there quicker?

Dear Future,

Come sooner. But not too soon.

mad

weekend wrap

This weekend we went for a little break to Utah. 

The weeks headed up to Thanksgiving break are hard because you can feel home just around the corner and the homework is being packed on hard. So you know, we felt like taking a little road trip all together. 

Red head: Ginny Weasley or Baby or Cortney. Whatev you want. She's Moriah's roommate this semester and we looove her. Megan is in the back with me and Moriah's driving.

After the drive we made a stop in SLC to see the prophets and act like gargoyles  in the temple cut-outs. 

The rest of the weekend was like this: 

Inn & Out, Cafe Rio, Paradise Cafe, Chick-fil-A, California Pizza Kitchen, Inn & Out. 

I saw lot of friends while down, and although I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with everyone, it was way fun to just see them. You know what I'm saying? Also I just barely realized how much junk we ate this weekend. hahaha.

Although the trip was fabulous, it was great to be back in our good state of Idaho.

Literally when we hit the boarder there was more snow on the ground and we cranked up the Christmas tunes and sang. 

Who cares if its not even Thanksgiving??

mad

the day you get to buy cigs for the first time

Yesterday was my sister Mallory's 18th Birthday! 

(I didn't forget, remember how my computer is broken and the library is shut on Sundays?)

To those that have never had a younger sister I'd like you to know that you are missing out on: 

• embarrassing them in front of other people...especially the boys they like
• stealing their clothes and shoes because chances are she's got better shoes than you do
• making them do weird things in front of people
• peeing yourself in any public place because you're laughing so hard at something that later won't even be funny
• sewing marathons in the middle of the night before you go back to school, that sometimes end with masterpieces but mostly end with big piles of too-tight or too-revealing articles of clothing
• becoming master hair dressers
• a cooking show buddy-you know, where you pretend you're the host of cooking shows?
• having them cut your hair in the middle of the night because you're bored of the hair length you have

but mostly, you miss out on having a younger sister. 

Because there's really no list that could possibly amount to everything they are. 

Happy 18th Birthday Mallory!

Go buy some cigs or dry ice or lotto tickets. 

Or just go kiss Sam. 

you pick, you know which I want you to do :)

love you, 

mad.

how to get to your 7:45 class everytime

1. Buy cinnamon burst bread from your local Great Harvest.

2. Wake up to Sexy and I know it at about 6:45-7:00am

3. Sing along and open the blinds next to your bed, revealing the frozen bright tundra.

4. Dream of the Cinnamon Burst toast you are about to make. 

5. Get out of bed. 

works every time.

mad

Sundays are for Vogue-ing

I think my favorite day of the week is Sunday

Especially Sunday's in Rexburg. 

There's like this unwritten law in Rexburg that you finish homework Saturday night so you can play all day Sunday. No joke people, it's like the biggest party day of the week. 

In good ways of course...we ate lasagna at Blackwill, made pancakes in 212 with their cute FHE brothers and of course took a ride into the country.

When the country is just beyond the temple, you have to go at least once a week. And listen to oldies or country music and just take in the scenic brown-ness of Idaho. 

For real though. We love it out there. 

We also love climbing on trains in dresses and pretending we're models. 

mad

How we celebrated Halloween

This weekend was an epic amount of fun-ness

On Saturday night we Kevin decided we should watch The Last Exorcism. 

Disclaimer: The movie isn't scary for like 45 minutes. 

So we're all...oh this isn't bad! 

Yeah right. 

The movie ended and I ended up sleeping in Moriah's bed with her. We might still be terrorized.

Also, the little red head making the cute face is Cortney. 

More on her later. 

MAd

Random thoughts for your wednesday

Let's be honest, I'm a complete scatter brain these days. I owe it to the fact that my stress levels are extreme. Like maybe bmx bike extreme? Also I can't focus in class. I go between daydreaming of hone cooked meals for thanksgiving and nightmares of black beans in brazil.....(no lie those 18 months might be my own personal fear factor).

Anyways, these three things are swarming my brain and I thought I'd share;

1. A girl in my ward has never been out of southern Idaho. She went to Utah last semester for the first time. As in she's never been on a plane, never seen the ocean.....

2 the two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. -mark twain

3. the cure to everything is salt water; sweat, tears, and the ocean. -pinterest


Also, I'm typing this on my iPod. I love technology.


Mad

dear ladies of the world,

this young man is now officially UP FOR GRABS!!

Logan turned the ripe age of 16 today and soon he will be getting his license....(line up for dates, girls). 

Dear Logan, 

I can't believe you are taller than me and your voice isn't as high as mine anymore.

Who knew a kid that loved the Notebook so much would turn into a young man that wasn't so girly?

(Sometimes I wish you'd still let me dress you up in dresses). 

None the less, I can't wait to hear all about your dates and all the hearts you're going to break. 

(You know my two choices are for you...their initials are KMHK and HH.)

Happy Birthday!!!

xXoOOoOooXXx mad

p.s. little kees, big kees, little hug, big hug.........

Missionary Photos

My homegirl Katie Webber is bombspice people.

wow I sound like Busy Bee Lauren

For real though. Check out her skills:

note: I had like 5 HUGE zits on my face aaaaand I was sweating. ah ha ha ha 

See what I mean people?

check her out.

mad

How to have a good Friday night 101

oh yeah. my hat makes my head look even bigger than it already is.

1. Get invited over to Megan Butler's house for dinner. 

Wear your leggings and UGG(lys) 

Eat the best dinner you've had all year. Seriously people. 

2. Go home, finish homework.

3. Go back over to Megan's house, talk about embarrassing stories with Moriah and Megan and Kevin. Namely stories about peeing your pants. (Seriously people Megan has the best wetting herself story).

4. Play games with Mason, Megan and Kevin.

Games to play: Hearts, Truth or dare jenga and ULTIMATE spoons. 

how to play ULTIMATE spoons note the all capitalized ULTIMATE. First, get the cards out and play like you are playing spoons except you have no spoons. Before each round call out an apartment on your floor and when you get all four to match, run like a maniac to said apartment and find their utensils drawer. Last person without a spoon loses. 

Story while playing ULTIMATE spoons:

we only went to apartments in our ward (we're a tight knit ward) and we tried to go to apartments where we knew everyone too. So we're running low on apartments we know everyone in and we just guess on an apartment we think girls we know live in. 

Yeah. They didn't. Instead we interrupted a couple who definitely hadn't come up for air in a while in the pitch black apartment. Cue all of us running to find the utensil drawer in pitch black and feeling around till we found a spoon. Needless to say it was awkward when they turned on the light. 

5. Have random old roommates bring you pizza and m&m's for who knows why. 

Who cares? FREE PIZZA!

6. Play the laughing game and other awkward games until curfew. 

Needless to say, I haven't laughed that hard in quite a long time.

mad

True Confessions

Is it totally horrible that after reading the letter and the letter from my mission president I skipped through the packet to dress and grooming standards?

This girl be buying chacos. 

asap. 

mad

BRASIL BELO HORIZONTE

This morning might have been the death of me. 

I sat in mission prep class and counted the minutes. Starting at 120. 

I then all but ran to the mailbox. 

It was not there. 

So I looked around the block to Birch Plaza, and of course the mailman was still working on their mail. 

I then seriously contemplated running to him and demanding my mail. 

Instead I was really mature and sat down on the stairs next to the mailbox and waited. 

and waited. 

I tried not to look too desperate when he finally made his appearance.

But it was like he knew exactly what I wanted because as he closed the boxes he just sort of nodded as I made a mad dash for 213's.

and there it was, waiting for me.

I did read the whole thing without skipping to the call part. 

I didn't wait for anyone though. How people can have the next 2 years in their hands and not open it is beyond me. I ripped that puppy open and read it as fast as I could. 

And then I called my grandma and told her. 

And then I kept it to myself for 2 and a 1/2 hours.

I tell you, the people that try and get you to tell them where you're going is quite hilarious. I  got many a message trying to bribe me into it. Although I will say Matt Stoker and Travis Whiting found out it wasn't state side about 8 minutes before my family called. 

Did I know I was going to go to Brazil?

You know what's funny? There are like 10 boys in my home ward on missions right now and I think 7 are in Brazil. Everyone and their dog was like Madison you'll go to Brazil!

Except honestly I thought I'd go stateside or to Australia. (For obvious reasons). 

Until Sunday night.
Sunday night I went and saw Mitch (who recently got home from Recife, Brazil). 

And we ended up talking about Brazil and the language and the people and the culture and the problems he had and the weather for about 5 hours. And he showed me every single photo taken while in Brazil. 

And I went home that night terrified.

Because in the back of my mind, I knew I was going to go to Brazil. 

So opening it today? 

It was like weights lifted off my shoulders and I feel so much better. 

I leave April 11, 2012. 

Any ideas with what to do with my time till then?

mad