oh my heart

How ironic thing are aren't they?

I had a few number of people today ask me about heart break. Weird right? So here's my take on it. 

In High School I dated a lot of boys. Plenty in fact, because I knew thought that if I broke my heart enough times, I could stand anything. I had a boy that got in trouble with the law, one that cheated on me, one that didn't believe in what I believed in, one that was in all terms insane, one that got away and one that I just felt wasn't right. All great reasons to break up with someone. Right?

I wouldn't take back one heart-break. They made me stronger and made me realize how strong I already was. Each relationship taught me so much and the heart ache after probably taught me more. The thing I find fascinating? When you break up, how he treats you. It shows a lot about his character. Whether he ignores you, yells at you or starts rumors or just is nice? That' makes all the difference in the world. 

Those same boys taught me this: believe in myself, love others with my full heart, never say sorry for things you aren't sorry for, be passionate about something, sing your own music, men are genuinely kind, and that I should always think of myself as beautiful. 

STILL. 

Heart ache sucks. It's the worst kind of pain I think. There's no physical way to cure it. You can't take some medicine and feel better. 

I've found over the years that the older I get, the harder it is to fix the emptiness I feel. When I began dating boys, it was easy! They still had missions to go on and things to do. We'd break up and a few months later we'd be friends again with the possibility of in the future maybe hooking up again. But now that I've begun dating boys that are ready for the next step of marriage, things are different. We can't get back together because moving on means that he's dating someone else. And you can't get back together because he would be cheating on his wife.

 Cheesy as it may be, every single one of the boys I listed have a piece of my heart that I probably won't ever get back. And that's okay, I try to give everyone a little piece. If you keep your heart all to yourself, you'll never learn and love and grow. But when you first break things off, no matter if it's 10 years or 2 days worth of a relationship, it can hurt. Here's my list of things I do after each and every break up.

1. Have a good cry. I know, it sucks. Let it all out. (Maybe do 1-3 all together?)
2. Eat some ice cream, preferably chocolate. Not a ton, just enough. 
3. Record your feelings in your journal. Record why you liked him so much and why it didn't work out. List all the things you loved and then the things you didn't love. 
4. get rid of everything you have that reminds you of them. Honestly. This might be the most important point. I mean everything you have that has a slight remembrance of him with it. Anything he gave you, inside jokes you have, songs you danced to,...whatever.
5. Go for a run or work out, either way, get away from everyone you know. listen to Enya or something motivating and run and sweat as hard as you can. Get him out of your mind and start focusing on your plan of attack for the cutie that works at the pizza place.
6. Do not, under any circumstance call/text/email/fax/facebook stalk/myspace stalk/drop by his place whatever. I promise you will HATE what you see and thus result in you needing to go back to step 1. 
7. move on.

I promise on my life this works.

After a while of following this, you'll start to forget about them. Yes, you'll have little memories come back when something familiar pops up or you smell something or weird things like that, but for the most part you'll forget. Because your body wants to forget as much as you do. After a while, you'll wonder why you even liked them in the first place. 

But you will see them again, indeed you definitely will. That's 100% guaranteed. And when you see them again all of those memories of the two of you together and the moments you had and the late night conversations and the kissing and the jokes will come back. And you'll think

ah-ha! That's why I liked you. I knew it. 

When this happens; remember this one: There are definite reasons we didn't work out. You won't be able to think of them because at that moment you can only think of how amazing they are and how good they look. Hold on tight to the reasons you broke things off.

Always remember that of all the boys you date, only one will ever work out. Holding on to the wrong one just makes it harder to find that right one.

mad

p.s. do you have any ways to cure the common heart ache?

my top ten {clothing} back to school must-have's.

Can you believe the summer is almost at an end? It makes me a little sick inside, but then again 

fall is my favorite season. 

Especially in Rexburg. I don't know why, but I just love the fall there. Weird? Yeah, prob. On our way to or from one of the adventures of the week we began discussing our back to school must-have's. I think I might do a separate one for non-clothing items..... But without further ado:

Mad's Items

Hanes v neck for men....and maybe some whitey tighties?

For real though, I live in these shirts. They come in packs of eight at Target, can't get much better than that. 

Northface jacket: I wear this bad boy everyday once it begins to rain. 

Once it starts snowing, I just layer with other jackets underneath. Ta-duh brilliant. 

 

I can hear groans across the world with these. 

UGG boots {I just bought mine in black...maybe buying some in tan too}.

I have owned actual UGG boots and knock-offs. For those in Rexburg: knock-offs from Costco are waaay better. They're cheap  and at least in my experience, they have a lot more grip on them. I fell twice in my UGGS and not once in my knock-offs. {and they're ruined after a year from the salt anyways}.

Lots and lots of scarves. I might want all three of the above too. They're perfect because when it starts to get too cold to look like anything more than an oompa loompa, these bad boys let everyone else know that yes, despite the frigid weather there is a woman under all those snow clothes.

Cardigans, cardigans cardigans. I have one in every color......miiiight have bought two more today. Love them. Can't get enough.

 

Gloves: because while riding my bike down hill going rather fast in the freezing cold, I like to be able to break when I need to. No frost bite here!

 

Hats: cue story time; so there I am, end of Fall semester walking home in the snow (uphill) with the wind blowing in my face. Of course, I forgot my mittens that day so I was trying to talk to a friend on the phone and sacrificing my fingers for the talking when I think...I bet my hat would hold the phone in place....

Yes, yes it did. 

 

sweatpants: because well, do you really look cute all the time?

 

cozy socks: actually socks in general...does anyone else feel like their dryer eats socks? Because mine does. Really.

Tights: Okay seriously guys I might need to buy each one of these. I am swooned. Tights = not freezing legs and not needing to shave Sunday. It's a win-win. 

What are your fall must-haves?

Mad

 

 

rainbow cupcakes

bored at home?

Have no fear, help is near!

Okay seriously guys these rocked my world awesome. 

I was hangin with my girl Isabelle okay I was babysitting her, but she's like 11 so she doesn't use that term anymore 

and we decided to join the cupcake revolution.

Step one: raid Isabelle's mom's pantry for a yellow cake mix.

Step two: Make cake mix

Step three: put cake mix into six seperate but equal bowls.

Step four: dye each bowl a different color of the rainbow by mixing food coloring

Step five: Pretend to be artists and blob random colors into the muffin pans until they are all filled.

Step six: cook.

Step seven: be amazed at how awesome they you are.

Isabelle and I sat and ate three cupcakes each because we kept getting so excited about the colors that mixed inside. So cool! 

Mad

Cannon Beach

I'm getting really good at the photo editing thing...

This past week we decided for another spur of the moment trip to the beach. Except this time, we went to a secret location. 

Crescent Beach is located just down the beach from Haystack rock. It is secluded from any tourists because the rocks jet out so far they can't get around them. Little do they know, there are secret passages into Crescent Beach. And we know them. (mwah ha ha). 

When we arrived we found that the tide had gone a far way out and we were able to see some of the best things you can find on the Oregon Coast.

three legged starfish

so much sea life....

We even found a few crabs and some starfish that needed rescuing. There were so many starfish you couldn't even count them. And their colors are so bright.

In true Oregonian fashion, we also jumped into the water. For like five seconds. Because it is so cold frigid. It's numbing, stinging pain when you dip your feet in. But we had to because well, it's the tradition! 

And when you do come to Cannon, you should must come to the Cannon Beach Bakery and order a almond poppy seed muffin. Let me tell you a secret about these muffins; they are magic. You think I am kidding, but no. It's the truth. I have eaten many a poppy seed muffin. But none are as incredibly delicious as these muffins. Thank me later. 

mad

we meet again, voo doo

ya'll already know about my voodoo obsession here. 

also, my father is mortified I never got the slogan. Sorry pops, my mind isn't in the gutter with that one...

Well, after hiking the gorge, we just had to go get some of our favorite donuts.

Annnd voodoo just got remodeled and expanded, so we figured we should just go see for ourselves. Umm guys. It. was. awesome. They've expanded a ton, painted it happier colors, painted the bricks outside so they glow and are sparkly as well as close the one-way road right beside it. Now when the sun goes down, lights go on that are strung from each side of the buildings and there are tons of tables out for you to sit at. It's perfect. 

Things that weren't perfect? The epic line that went out the door and down the road (it's always that way). Also this picture. Don't ask overgrown teenagers with braces to take your photos. Especially when they ask what button to push four times. 

And after a long wait for the donut, I gave the lady my cash and asked for a dirty old bastard. yep. That right there is my very favorite donut. Ever. It's chocolate coated, dipped in oreos with peanut butter on top. hubba hubba right?

Voodoo tips: Go at night now a days. The lights look awesome! 

expect an epic line.

they only take cash

Know what you want when you get to the front. They aren't patient

Be prepared to be blown away in awesomeness.

Mad

are you having a boring day?

Are you bored at home with nothing to do? No friends to play with? No problem!

Step 1: Drag little brother out from under all the boredom

Step 2: drive to your nearest cheap store (We went to Goodwill)

Step 3: Find a beauty.

Step 4: Buy said beauty (must be under $1.00). 

Step 5: Name Beauty. Our's was "Girlfriend"

Girlfriend doing some dancin for Garrett

Step 6: Drive to the nearest place you feel like going.

Girlfriend in the jungles of Bridgeport

Girlfriend riding her first escalator all by herself!!

Step 7: Enjoy.

Mad

Multnomah Falls

In an effort to keep up with my posts from last year on Portland's beautiful places, here are some more of my favorite things to do whilst in town...

Multnomah Falls

is the second tallest waterfall in the United States (we pretend it's the first,) and is in the beautiful Columbia River Gorge. It's so incredibly stunning everywhere you look and there are millions upon millions of hikes to do (more coming next week). 

Fact: Twilight filmed the baseball scene right by the falls. cool, no? 

Anyways...Chase, Man and I decided to get our hiking boots on and be one with the outdoors for the day. We hiked to the very top of the falls. It's a steep mile, but not too horrible. 

Chase is single....just if you were wondering...

us Northwesterners always need some love from the trees

taken from the bridge

the very top!

Along the way we also enjoyed the little off paths that led to cool trails and mini waterfalls. 

I suggest also bringing pretzels to throw off the top. It's a must in our book. 

Apparently there's a new tradition to throw pennies into the water as well (we thought pretzels worked better). We also suggest dousing yourself in water and running down the mountain singing Edge of Glory.

Just kidding. Chase suggested that. 

mad

the beginning of the seven week break

doesn't it just look like a Disney movie?

After the semester ended, I packed my bags into a very stuffed Lexus and drove to Salt Lake City, Utah. From there I took a few trips to visit some of my favorite people (shout out Mad, Chan and Kate) and then eventually wound up in this cute little cottage by the river. It's up up up in the mountains and the perfect spot for reading books such as The Hunger Games (didn't love it) and taking a snooze whenever you feel like it. I loved every moment.

every road in the North West

Oregon Beach

Living in a good proximity to the beach always comes in handy. Especially when all three ladies in the family + Garrett have a free day. We headed off for Tilamook (recognize the name?) For some cheese and ice cream and then a day at the beach.

greetings from Tilamook, Oregon. Home of the cheese makers.

cheers to being Southridge Skyhawks, not Tilamook Cheesemakers.

Mad

It's about time I wrap up Spring Semester....

Since Spring semester ended about a month and a bit ago, I figured I should probably wrap it up about now...Also, sorry for not posting for forever. My computer hates me. Or Blogger...or both?

Without further adieu;

Spring Semester 2011

I will be the first to admit, I was a little scared walking in the first day of the semester. Nevertheless, it was by far the best semester yet. Who would've thought right?

There are so many incredible moments from the semester, I thought I'd just share a few of my favs and call it good. yeah?

that first week when our couch chose us. I think sitting on the couch that first time I thought "oh yeah. this semester is going to be awesome."

becoming old Grandparents with these people. (Also, every other night when we bundled up in blankets and braced the outdoors on our couch)

"she doesn't even go here!!"

cheering for our ward at the soccer games

RAPTURE WEEKEND. that whole weekend was epic. srsly.

yes this is the 323e4r543 time I've posted this photo on my blog. I still love it. And the people in it. 

something needs to be said about how much pizza consumption was done this past three months. 

"I like can I touch..."

Oh the love I have for these ladies...

The semester seemed to fly by and I found myself the last week of school looking forward to the fall more than ever. I'll be in the same apartment, with some of the same girls (and some new cool ones...hopefully!) And I can not wait. I feel like I made a lot of new friends the last two weeks of school so I'm quite excited to get back and play more in Rexbuck....

13 more days!

Mad