Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just
figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish
a text.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to
say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile
is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder
BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I
keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a
matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be
friends after this?'
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then
I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to
with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet
everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7
seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.
Is it a good or bad thing to cram before the last second if you do well
on everything you crammed for?
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